Ron Lieber found five important themes in the money letters that people wrote to their younger family letters.
Emotion He found that people had feelings about money but not many tools to help them think through their money decisions. Therefore, it is not surprising that young people make mistakes about how much to borrow and what to spend.
Sex One father was quoted as wisely writing to his sons before they left for college, “Along with sex, money seems to get more people into trouble than everything else combined…And both are great when handled properly.” Maybe because money and sex represent success and money has become a medium of measuring one’s worth.
Risk All decisions involve risk. The risk of doing something and making a mistake and the risk of not doing something and loosing out on an opportunity.
ENVY (AND GENDER) Envy is a problem yet wanting things is not bad. It is fine to want things as long as you understand you need to plan for these things and not expect them to drop into your lap.
In addition men often aggressively negotiate raises over the years when women often did not. It is O.K. for women to ask for a raise but they may have to do it somewhat differently than men. (http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/25/your-money/moving-past-gender-barriers-to-negotiate-a-raise.html)
Wanting a bit more prestige or a bigger office are normal desires and both men and women, who have earned them, should feel free to pursue these goals.
Adventures Many people have found that once they are ‘comfortable’ having more money does not make them happier. What makes them happier involves interesting experiences and good relationships.
Finally, Ron Lieber points out that a written letter, or a series of conversations, has a chance of lasting, unlike a one time conversation.